Medium Ethics-“I Always Worry Mandy is Reading Me”

I’m not uncovering your deepest darkest secrets or cold reading you…

Over the years, “coming out” as a medium has been really tough for me. I’m either told I’m going to hell for going against God’s word, which is something I had great difficulty overcoming as a former practicing Christian, or people are terrified I’m reading them and all their darkest secrets. OR, they expect me to flip the switch and read them on the spot.

I want to share some clarifying insight on this and how I’ve addressed these scenarios over the years while learning to accept my abilities and what they mean.

I’ve previously posted in detail how my beliefs have shifted during this spiritual journey, so I won’t go too far into this one. Essentially, I feel closer in my connection to God, Divine, Source, whatever you want to call it, now than I ever did as an active church member. This is like politics, sexuality or anything else for me, opinions on these matters are like assholes, we all have them and they all stink. We are all allowed to have our own opinions, and we don’t have to agree, but we SHOULD be able to respect one another’s. I don’t care who you love, who you worship, who you support, etc. With religion, specifically, I think we are mostly all saying the same thing, just with tweaks in terminology and slightly differing beliefs.

Those who think I’m reading them all the time, I’m not. This has recently been brought to my attention more. When I agreed to open back up to spirit after years of suppression, I had to set and maintain strict boundaries with the other side. I have a routine to let spirit know I’m ready to work with them. If you are a client of mine and have ever heard me say, “I’m getting ready to open up, see you soon,” this is what I mean. It’s like when you prep for a meeting presentation. I’m saying hey spirit, I’m ready, they are ready, let’s do this. Mediumship work isn’t exactly like tarot or psychic work. It requires much more energy to connect and maintain the link to spirit. We have to raise our vibration really high, and they have to drop theirs so we are able to meet somewhere in the middle. I learned early on that if I walked around wide open to spirit without boundaries, it would leave me completely drained and exhausted. Certain places do this to me as well, despite my best efforts with boundaries. Places like hospitals, schools, grocery stores, airports, and storage units…I learned the last one the hard way. Anyways, I have strict boundaries with regard to reading people. Will I pick up on energy shifts, good/bad vibes? Do I randomly text my friends and say, “hey you’ve been on my mind. Everything okay?”Absolutely. That doesn’t mean I’m tapping into your soul and reading your mind during every interaction we experience. In my opinion, that is completely unethical and how you can discern a good medium from a not so good medium. I’m never going to inbox you and say “Hey, I feel like you need to find your soulmate, and I can help you do that. Send me money and let’s find them.” I’ve just recently heard that this is a thing that some mediums are doing to drum up business. It’s like cold calling, which is inherently wrong, in my humble opinion. PSA: If anyone does that to you, it is likely a scam. I believe there has to be consent from the medium, the sitter (person receiving the reading) and spirit. I am still just an average person having a human experience, just like you! Furthermore, I believe the sitter needs to have the desire and intention to connect through the medium.

I had to dance with a lot of skeletons in my own closet and go through what’s called “shadow work” or “dark night of the soul” (way longer than one night) to accept doing this work and can assure you I don’t have judgement for others’ experiences, because ya girl has a past too 🤣 I believe those experiences allowed me to have broader frames of reference to connect with spirits and people from all walks of life with empathy. I guess you could say, I’m more well-rounded for all my fuck ups over the years.

Ok, now those that find out I’m a medium and say- Oh wow, read me! Read me! I don’t typically do that, and it does become frustrating when I’m just out trying to socialize. Some people try to be sneaky about it too saying things like, oh you’re a medium, I sure do miss my mom. Does she have anything to say to me? The only way I can describe how that feels, is it’s like when you take one of your kids to the store and they pick up a brand new toy and say with a sad puppy dog face, “I sure wish I could have this new $200 toy.”

It took me a long time to accept that I needed to charge for my services, just like any other industry, and had to charge appropriately. I like to compare it to hairstylists. You ever have a hairstylist friend or family member that everyone expects to just bring home their scissors and dye and do it for a discount or free? Imagine how they might feel taken advantage of. When I wasn’t charging for services, I tended to push myself too hard or went over the time limit, overextending my abilities in an effort to give the “best” service. When I wasn’t charging appropriately and overextending it was a combination of people pleasing and Ego. Spirit let me know by making me extremely ill after readings. The last time I raised my prices, it was due, in part, because I rebranded and changed website platforms to allow easier booking options for clients, but it was also because I had 4 readings in one day, one of which I allowed myself to go way over the time limit as the client asked more questions and I continued answering. Once I closed my laptop, I violently vomited and could hardly walk. I felt hungover for 2 days. When I tell y’all this work isn’t for the faint of heart, I mean it!

It is also worth mentioning, that one of my biggest reasons for coming out as a medium and sharing this vulnerable part of my life, is to de stigmatize the misconception that mediums are some sort of festival side-show with a crystal ball and head wrap. I talk about this pretty often too. I’m not Miss Cleo. I’m an every day mom running her kids to their sports, schools, therapy, and specialist appointments in a minivan. When I’m out having a good time with friends I want to let my hair down and forget about work too! I’m not a Carny or entertainer during a night out. One of the responses I started using when asked on the spot to do a reading while out is, “Hey? Do you have your laptop for work right now? Can you pull up the most recent spreadsheet and update me on the status of your deliverables? No? Neither can I. I’m off the clock too.” I know that sounds harsh, but it does get frustrating to feel like an outcast for the work I do, and people expecting something that requires a great deal of energy and time for free.

Another PSA- respect and support your friends’ who are in service industries! I have amazing friends that get this, and I have met people that I don’t think are intentionally being inconsiderate, but I’m sharing this as an opportunity for others to understand.

Thank you for all the continued support and love! Send me a direct message if you have questions. I’d love to share more about this journey with you!